Committing to the Process

Our past lies within us like a sculpture made up of our conditioning and our trauma. Having assisted in a training this past week, I have again become aware that we are not separate but that we co-create our environment and our culture. We have copied and pasted our past onto the present thus creating the conditions in which we live. If we want to change the outside we must begin inside. I don’t mean we must change our behavior although that would be a result. I don’t mean we must change our lifestyle though that too may be a result. I do mean we must commit to the process. This means we must feel the tension between how we live and behave and how we experience the world around us. Can you feel the tension which creates this gap?

So we ask ourselves: what am I not wanting to feel inside that the outside is showing? Where are the shadow parts inside of my sculpture that make me helpless to respond adequately? Where has my past clouded my mature ability to respond? If I am not coming from a place of superiority (I know better) or from feeling like a victim (I am helpless) or from aggression (it’s them, not me!”),

Can I feel the other and truly see myself in the other?

Family Constellation work gives us this opportunity. In representing the other we can feel them while feeling ourselves. We can know what it is like to feel like an other. As we begin to care for each other the world feels safer. We feel we belong.

Eve-Marie Elkin